Got the master back tonight. What a feeling. Can’t describe it. So many hours, so many sleepless (almost) nights of tweaking (knobs, not meth) and playing and recording and neglecting sleep and smoking weed and repeating all of that. After i mixed the album and sent it to Amy Dragon over at Telegraph Mastering (shoutout), I forced myself to not listen to it for a week and a half. This, remember, is a huge feat after listening to it for hours a day for months on end. What a feeling, then, to get it back mastered (for those of you that don’t know, it’s the final step in the process - the mastering engineer basically takes it to 11. They breathe their magical mastering elixir into the songs, and take a collection of songs and turn it into an album) and listen to it in my big headphones. I cried a couple times, just gonna say it out loud. These songs mean things, they came out of some deep dark place that i don’t even really know about. So to hear them back as they were intended to be played and recorded is an extremely emotional moment.
That’s what I’m so proud about with this album. I can finally say that my recordings aren’t getting in the way of my performances. I’ve always been a better musician than producer, but that changed with this album. We’re neck and neck here folks. It’s an exciting turn of events.
I speak so blatantly about my own accomplishments, fully knowing that some will read this as boastful. It is and it isn’t, and here is my one time defense (I actually don’t give two shits if someone does think that, i’m merely announcing my character as a sort of declaration), bullet pointed out in functional and business like prose:
I worked my ass off on this piece of music. It’s artistic and poetic and is coated in layers and depth, because everything is intentional and how I wanted it. Does that mean it’s perfect? Of course not, after this week i may never listen to it again. Does that mean i’m great or that i’m the fucking greatest? Likely no, but who am i tell myself that i’m not? What kind of way to live is that? “Hey self, you’re definitely NOT the greatest, so like don’t even try.” Fuck that. I’ve got my mom and myself to tell me i’m the greatest, and she stopped doing that years ago.
Music is my life’s work. Cheesy? Sure, no not really, it’s actually profound and meaningful. We should all have ours. I play music still because i don’t want to look back when i’m 86 and say, “Fuck i wish i tried…..” Just saying, that’ll happen.
If you’re reading this, and it’s moving to you or making you feel something in any way, that makes me super fucking happy and i’m glad we connected. Can’t wait for you specifically to hear the album, because it’s pretty much like my blog with some rock and roll behind it hahahahahaha.
Love you all,