I haven’t gotten on here in a while. Used to rant all the time, just come on here and let them fly. It’s a tricky space though because it’s the internet and everyone can read it. It’s like I want everyone to read what I write, because i always look back and laugh and i want other people to experience that. Also something really therapeutic about writing in a public space. Though it’s never as genuine as I want it to be. I don’t ever talk about really personal shit on here, because that impacts other people too much. Seldom does one have something really personal or intense that doesn’t involve another person - a family member or something. So yeah, you’ll need to read between the lines.
Either way - this has been a hard year. Currently we’re facing so much awful stuff in the news. George Floyd. Fuck. I sobbed like 10 fucking times this week. Listening to the heart break and misery this country is going through. I did some contributing. Not enough. I’m doing more. I went to a protest but got scared of Corona and went home. I’m guilty of complacency though and it eats me up. I’m not doing it any more. My commitment to the world right here. It boils down to compassion and love for people. If everyone felt it, we’d all be saved. I’m not going down this rabbit hole just saying I’m committed to doing more.
Corona is devastating the music community and also bringing it new life. People are making such awesome shit for the internet. The live streaming quality if off the charts too - Hallowed Halls Facebook Live shows are impeccably done and sound beautiful and it’s all streamed live. Amazing. I haven’t done any live streams yet. I’ve been making videos. Between you and me sometimes I feel intimidated by the level of talent out there and postpone performances. It’s not cool and I’m trying to get over it. Videos are fun because when you perform you can just act like no one is watching, because no one is watching. It’s that level of performance that is required live though, and sometimes I catch it - not all the time. It’s all the time when I’m drumming but not for singing / playing guitar. It’ll get there just like anything else you obsess over.
Well friends hang in there. I’m hurting along with everyone in the world - this year was rough for me anyways without all of this other shit going on. I have to believe we’ll get through it or it’s a lesson or there’s something lying up ahead that will soothe all our suffering. Here’s hoping.
Stay strong out there, love you all.
Nick
